


The Engineer and the Pirate Queen

by AudreyV



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/F, Grand Romantic Gestures, Love, Nerd Girlfriends, Surprises, Valentine's Day, Valentine's Day Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-15
Updated: 2017-02-15
Packaged: 2018-09-24 14:38:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9764132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AudreyV/pseuds/AudreyV
Summary: Creative use of technology, in-depth research, an assist from Patty and an eyepatch. A very Yatesmann Valentine's Day.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PieHeda](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PieHeda/gifts).



> This is a fill for a prompt [Pieheda](http://archiveofourown.org/users/PieHeda/pseuds/PieHeda) sent me [over on Tumblr](http://audreyimpossible.tumblr.com/post/155520796204/fanfic-prompt-list) for Yatesmann #18 "This is… exactly what it looks like." I procrastinated long enough on filling it for Valentine's Day to be seasonally appropriate. As much as I resist the fluff, it was a nice break from the tragic and pornographic mischief I've been getting into over in my other fandom.

“Holtzmann?” Abby stopped at the second floor landing of the firehouse, glancing around Holtzmann’s lab area but not seeing her girlfriend.“You here?”

“Abbbbbbbbbbyyyy,” a voice called from behind the pile of boxes, spare parts and random scavangings that divided Holtz’s napping space from the main room. “Stay where you are!”

“Why?” Abby froze in place, alarm coloring her voice. “Is something about to explode?”

“No, no, we are a-okay when it comes to all things incendiary,”Holtzmann said, popping her head around the barrier. “With the possible exception of my extremely cummmm-bustible libido.”

“Okay, that awful, inappropriate pun does not make you sexier, Holtzmann,” Abby said. “I don’t know why you thought it would, but I’m here to tell you, no dice.So what are you doing back there?”

“Just putting the finishing touches on a few things.” Holtzmann disappeared back into the nook. “I predicted your return would be approximately seventeen minutes later.”

“Yeah, I got done at the ophthalmologist early.” Abby shifted awkwardly from one foot to the other. “They said I, uh, only have to wear the patch for a few days.”

“I was going to ask about your newfound pirate-inspired fashion choices.”

“Yeah, not a choice.The rather unfortunate result of that new trap you’ve been perfecting.You know, the one that temporarily paralyzed my iris when it spontaneously destabilized?”

“Oh god.It hasn’t worn off yet?” Holtzmann emerged, went to Abby and took both of her hands.“I really thought that would be extremely temporary.”

“Human bodies aren’t as predictable as technology, I’m afraid.” When Abby saw the worry on Holtzmann’s face, she softened. “No permanent damage. Really the worst part is I’m going to be rocking an eyepatch on Valentine’s Day.”

“I can make you a really awesome eyepatch before then.When’s Valentine’s Day?”

“It’s tonight, Holtzmann.” Abby sighed and her gaze dropped down.“Uh… what’s this?” she asked, gesturing to Holtzmann’s crotch.

“It’s not what it looks like.”

“It looks like you built a bionic strap-on with gesture control, interchangable mounts and…” She leaned over and took a closer look at the device. “‘Holtzmann + Abby 2-14-2017’ inscribed on the, uh… phallus.”

“In that case, this is… exactly what it looks like.” Holtzmann smiled brightly and made a sweeping gesture with her arms. “And if you’ll follow me, I’ll orient you to the rest of my meticulously planned celebration, which we can of course deviate from at any point depending on your preferences.”

Abby let Holtzmann lead her back to the divider.As she came around it, she was stunned to see dozens of flickering candles.

“Oh my god…” Abby breathed.“This is beautiful.” She turned back to Holtzmann, who was blushing and shuffling her feet.

“I’m glad you like it.”Holtzmann took a deep breath and carefully met Abby’s eyes. “I… um… I’ve never had a… person of my own on Valentine’s Day. So I did a lot of research into what one would do for their person and then I did many of those things. There are chocolate-covered strawberries, an oversized teddy bear with a red bow and a heart that says “Love”, champagne, a bouquet of flowers— don’t worry, they’re made of scrap aluminum, they won’t trigger your allergies!” she added quickly.

“Wow.”

“Oh also dinner, romantic picnic-style and this,” she added, gesturing to the strap-on.“Twenty three different speeds, four different shape configurations, and it’s ribbed for YOUR pleasure,” Holtzmann added, flashing finger-guns at Abby.

“This is… ” Abby trailed off, overwhelmed. “What are we having for dinner?”

“Soup.”

“Soup?”

“Chicken noodle, tomato basil, minestrone, roasted vegetable, chipotle sweet potato, wonton, and honeydew blueberry with whipped cream for dessert.”

“You didn’t forget.”

“Patty may have reminded me once or twice.But I told her to do that, so I should get partial credit.”

“I can’t believe you did all this,” Abby said, her good eye shining.“I haven’t really thought about it, but I’ve never had a person on Valentine’s Day either.”

“Score!” Holtzmann exclaimed. “I have OFFICIALLY provided you with your best one ever. Even if it is because there’s no competition.”

“There are seven different kinds of soup AND a strap-on that has more electronic components than my car,” Abby giggled. “I can’t imagine any Valentine’s Day could ever be better.”

“True. I may have set an unnaturally high bar for future years, but the look on your face is totally worth it.” Holtzmann grinned. “Will you join me for dinner, my pirate queen?”

“Absolutely,” Abby said.She leaned over and kissed Holtzmann.“On one condition.”

“Your wish is my command.”

“You’ve gotta take off the bionic penis.Like, first, putting on it over your clothes is a little strange to begin with, but I literally have to force myself not to stare at it.”

“It IS a marvel of technology.”

“That I will be thrilled to put through rigorous testing after we eat.” Abby seated herself comfortably on a pillow and looked at the half-dozen steaming takeout containers. “Holtzmann… how are you keeping these hot?”

“It’s really best for all involved if we pretend you didn’t ask that.”

“Fair enough.”


End file.
